i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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