So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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