Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
false alarm, still single
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