I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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