Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
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