I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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