No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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