It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
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Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
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100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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