She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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