Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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