my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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