she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize