so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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