threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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