I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
We need a shit load of segways right now
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize