I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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