hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just sucked dick on a ferry
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize