I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
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I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
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Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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