At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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