Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
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