remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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