You made me cry and you don't even care
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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