i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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