She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
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I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
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I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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