Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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