you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
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