new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize