i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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