Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize