saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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