Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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