for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I know her cup size but not her name....
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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