ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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