ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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