I just pynch a tree in the face
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize