I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize