Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Randomize