just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize