dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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