Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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