I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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