Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize