Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
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strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
My ATM looks so different sober.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize