Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize