This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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