And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize