dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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