there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I think I just sharted jello shots
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize