Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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