So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize